Queer middle-aged fangirl. I'm sorry this has become a Luke Skywalker and Man from Uncle blog, but not sorry enough to stop. Otherwise, expect lots of MCU, BBC shows, writing posts, animals. And so much Star Wars.
Knowing you were THIS CLOSE to being in a pretty healthy stable place in 2019 is the 2020 mental health version of a cop in a movie being three days from retirement
I see other fans say that you find BTS when you need them the most, which is… kinda funny but also kind of religiony in a vaguely uncomfortable way (for me), but… it’s not WRONG, either. I seriously really did need their energy in my life right now.
2020 has been one HELL of a year. I mean, I know it has been for everyone. But even without the pandemic and political unrest and cops killing innocent people… I’ve had a truly terrible year.
My 17 year old cat died on New Year’s Eve. I found out in January that I had cancer, started treatment in March, had surgery in June as part of my treatment. Thanks to being sick, I lost all my clients and pretty much shuttered my freelance business, which has made the money situation terrifying. I finished my last radiation treatment at the beginning of September, and on that same day, my beloved dog Rosie died of complications from diabetes.
Even now I’m a wreck. I don’t know where I’ll be living six weeks from now. Don’t get me wrong–I’m not in danger of homelessness! I just… don’t KNOW, and that’s stressing me out. I’m 48 years old and everything I wanted to do with my life seems impossible now. (And don’t even get me STARTED on what might happen to me, a queer living on government disability and Medicare, if that orange fucker gets re-elected.) I have an amazing support system IRL, but sometimes I still can’t get out of my own head.
In the middle of all this, “Dynamite” came out. And despite EVERYTHING, it can instantly makes me feel better. Watching the videos, learning stuff about the boys, about ARMY, having something new to squee over… it helps, so much. Knowing ARMY is out there… helps, even if I can’t explain why.
The Lans don’t have a bazillion rules because they’re so upstandingly morally brilliant and upright, the Lans have a bazillion rules because their sheer stubborn dumbass energy is off the charts and needs to be focused by a bazillion rules
Alternately: “Good men don’t need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.”